22 GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE MARCH 8, 1996

THE MOSTLY UNFABULOUS SOCIAL LIFE OF ETHAN GREEN...

KAY, SO YOU'RE ON A BUSINESS OR PLEASURE OR FAMILY-RELATED TRIP TO AN UNFAMİLİAR CITY. WELL SWEETIE, TRAVELING IS HASSLE ENUF,THANKS VERY MUCH,WITHOUT HAVING TO STAND AROUND LIKE YOU'RE FRESH OFF THE TURNIP TRUCK, TRYING TO DIVINE WHICH BELLHOP, WAITER, OR GUY IN THE HOTEL GYM'S A BIG QUEEN. This BEING THE CASE,

WE PRESENT THE FIRST IN A SERIES OF THE

Ethan Green Guide to Cruising GAY MAN'S

FIELD GUIDE.

WOW LUCY.

JUST LOOKIT 'EM ALL! SNIPPY URBAN QUEEN" LOVABLE BEARQUEEN "WEIRD TECHY QUEEN WOW!....

By Eric ORner.

ERTAIN LOCATIONS ARE FAMOUS FOR THROWING UP CLOSE CALLS. FOR EXAMPLE, IN L.A..

EVEN THE STRAIGHT MEN ARE BUFF AND HAVE GOOD HAIRCUTS...

LIKE, I SAW

You IN THE LOBBY AND I THINK YOU ARE SO HOT. MEET ME UN DER THE CONSIERGE DESK IN AN HOUR.

LIKE,ARE YOU BY ANY CHANCE, UH TRAVELANG WITH ANY LIKE, BABESPA SISTER MAYBE.. OR A FEMALE COUSIN ?A YOUNG ISH STEPMOM?

LET'S DRIVE AROUND IN TRAFFIC FOR 3 HOURS, THEN SPEND ANOTHERS IN CLUBS.PARTYING, AND THEN I TAKE

You

MADRID

FRANCE

LET'S DRIVE AROUND IN TRAFFIC FOR 3 HOURS, THEN SPEND ANOTHER 5 IN

CLUBS, PARTYING.

AND THEN, TAKE EURODISNEY? YOU.. HOME..

EST UNE

ABOMINATION!

TIN

Mary

Dykes To Watch Out For

face

Not Mary

IN THE OFFICE OF MADWIMMIN BOOKS...

HEY, NICE TO HEAR YOUR VOICE! YEAH, SHE'S HERE. HANG ON.

JEZ,

IT'S YOUR BABE.

HER NAME'S

AUDREY

IF YOU DON'T MIND.

Not Mary

MEANWHILE, UP AT THE REGISTER.

2x008

OH, NO! LOIS, HERE COMES THAT INSUFFERABLE SNOB I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT! I GOTTA HIDE!

UH... I

DON'T THINK SO. THEORY

GIVES ME HIVES.

24CHDEL

231

OH, REALLY. WELL, I'D LIKE TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT ORDERING TEXTBOOKS FOR THE COURSES I TEACH AT THE UNNERSITY. I THOUGHT YOU COULD USE THE BUSINESS MORE THAN THE CAMPUS BOOKSTORE.

SURE. HEY, JEZANNA.

THIS WOMAN HAS A BIG ORDER.

HAVE MO TAKE IT. I HAVE TO FLY TO ST. LOUIS. MY MOTHER'S NOT DOING WELL.

WELL, AUDREY'S THERE, JEEZ, THANK GOD. DATING AN I'M ONCOLOGY NURSE WAS THE SORRY. BEST MOVE I EVER MADE. WHERE IS MO? I THOUGHT...

Mary

Not Mary

ON THE OTHER HAND, THE BRIGHT PLUMAGE FAVORED IN OTHER, BETTER-LIKE & ROOSTS, CAN MAKE OUR FLOCK EASY TO IDENTIFY... 23& STREET,NYC

BOUF. (WHATEVER)

YO...

HI. HOWYA

YEAH!

PRETTY

DOIN'

GOOD SHOW,

HEY, WEREN'T YOU SECOND RUNNER-

UP IN THE DRAG KING CONTEST LAST WEEKEND?

Mary

HEY WAITTA MINUTE, ISN'T THIS ONE OF THOSE FAG MAGS? HEY GET ME OUTTA HERE!... I'M SERIOUS!...

RUDY

Not Mary

HUH?

WELL, LET'S JUST SAY I'VE SEEN AVON LADIES WITH MORE BALLS. BUT THEN I'M USED TO THE CULTURE OF A MUCH LARGER CITY. YOU'LL CATCH UP IN A FEW YEARS, I EXPECT.

YEAH, WELL.

I DIDN'T SEE YOU UP ON THE STAGE.

OH, I'M PURELY AN OBSERVER. I'M RESEARCHING AN ARTICLE ON GENDER TRANSGRESSION UNDER ADVANCED CAPITALISM. PERHAPS I COULD INTERVIEW YOU!

SMEK!

MO?

UH... I WAS JUST GETTING THESE STAPLES OUT OF THE CARPET. VERY HAZARDOUS.

TAKE THIS WOMAN'S ORDER, WILL YOU?

REALLY, MO. IT'S NOT NECESSARY TO GENUFLECT IN MY PRESENCE.

SYDNEY?

THEA?

WELL! IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME, HASN'T IT?

FOUNDS! HEREBY HANGS

A TALE! STAY TUNED!

For All of Your Insurance Needs...

Michael D. Farmer, CLU, ChFC, CPCU

Agent

27025 Knickerbocker Road Bay Village, Ohio 44140

(216) 835-1969

Gioacchino Rossini's

THE TURK IN ITALY

From the composer of THE BARBER OF SEVILLE Ohio Premiere in Celebration of

Cleveland's Bicentennial

March 22 & 23 8pm March 24*, 1996 2pm

To order tickets call ADVANTIX at 241-6000

toll free 1-800/766-6048 Tickets from $17.50 / State Theatre

With the generous support of:

There are 147.5 acres of parking lot in Cleveland. There are 147.5 acres of beach in Jamaica.

Pay attention. This could be a sign.

Green RoadTravel

2111 South Green Road, 216 381-8060 Open Weekdays 9-5:30, Saturdays 10-2

THE CLEVELAND FOUNDATION

The Kelvin & Eleanor Smith Foundation

TRW Foundation Mr. & Mrs. Nicholas Peay

Ohio Arts Council

PLAYHOUSE

SQUARE CENTER

Continental

The official airline of Cleveland Opera

SPECIAL OFFER!

Receive $6 off your ticket to

THE TURK IN ITALY

Call ADVANTIX at 241-6000 or visit the State Theatre Box Office and quote the code SRC:LCO/PRC:ACB

Not valid on loges or boxes or in conjunction with any other offer